MiIDle Adult Development

MiIDle Adult Development
Critical essay : Use the reading assignments for this unit and two aIDitional professional literature. Reading material: Broderick & Blewitt Lifespan.
Explain how the developmental concerns relate to your specialization. Discuss the strengths and weakness of these approaches with regard to your specialization. (1) Influences on Adult Development

Specialization: Child and adolescence development

 
Smarthinking’s E-structor Response Form

(Your marked-up essay is below this form.)
HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your e-structor has also embeIDed comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking’s OWL; best wishes with revising your paper!
*Strengths of the essay:
Well done for stating whose need you are going to write about, as this brigs clarity to the reader.

Children and adolescents have social, psychological and physical needs that unlike adults need to be met in order to ensure a healthy and developmental growth.
* 5325614 has requested that you respond to the Content Development:
Your content will develop around the structure point in your topic sentence.

As you revise, David, try to apply the PIE method of development to your paragraphs. This will help you organize them better because you can be sure that you are developing your points fully and not leaving some ideas hanging. It goes like this:

Point- This is the topic sentence of your paragraph, or the point that you will be developing in it. Here is the topic sentence from your first body paragraph:

Some of the developmental concerns with childhood and adolescents include: Anxiety is common for many people, but when it is at the level which is disruptive to the lives and development of their lives then it is cause for concerns.

What single point are you going to discuss in this paragraph?

Illustrations: These are the examples that you have which will help illustrate your point, such as facts, statistics, situations, and the like. If your structure point is anxiety, could you define it so that the readers can understand the psychological use of the word? What facts or illustrations can you offer?

Explanations: Here is your final sentence for this paragraph:

Other forms of therapy such as neuro feedback will be effective in treating this disorder (Piaget, 1995).
How does this relate to your topic sentence? You need to come back to point that you mention in your topic sentence and explain how your illustration/s prove/s your point to be true.

Do you see how the PIE method will help you check and ensure that your paragraphs are fully developed? It will be a great idea if you can apply this to all your body paragraphs. ?
* 5325614 has requested that you respond to the Organization:
One way of strengthening your organization is by beginning each body paragraph with a clear and strong topic sentence. Here is a topic sentence from your essay:

Strengths and weakness in childhood development can be derived from the Jean Piaget Developmental theory.

Let us take a look at how to create a topic sentence that refers to the topic, the discussible point and to one structure point.

Here is a thesis statement:
Thesis statement: If you’re looking for the best campsite, [topic] there are three important factors to consider [discussible point]: the availability of recreational activities, the attractiveness of the location, and the closeness of basic amenities. [structure]
With the above thesis statement, my first topic sentence will be as follows:

Topic sentence 1: The availability of recreational activities [structure point] at campsites [topic] is without a doubt, the most important factor to consider [discussible point] when you want to go camping.

You now need to revise your essay and create a topic sentence for each body paragraph. Through this, you will be able to show the relationship between your thesis statement and your body paragraphs.
Grammar & Mechanics:
Let us have a look at the correct usage of the colon next. Here is a sentence from your paper which could benefit from it:
Some of the developmental concerns with childhood and adolescents include: Anxiety is common for many people, but when it is at the level which is disruptive to the lives and development of their lives then it is cause for concern.
There are three instances in which we use a colon:
€¢ Before an explanation that is preceded by a clause that can stand by itself. For example:

There was only one thing we could do: turn back and hope for the best.

€¢ Before a list that is preceded by a clause that can stand by itself. For example:
The committee now includes the following people:
the manager
the floor manager
the sales representative.

€¢ We will often use a colon to separate an independent clause from a quotation (often of a rather formal nature) that the clause introduces:
The acting director often used her favorite quotation from Shakespeare’s Tempest: We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep.

Please check your sentence to see if you use the colon correctly? How can you correct your sentence above?
Summary of Next Steps:
I enjoyed reading your paper on developmental concerns. I hope the following pointers will help you to strengthen your essay:

1. Develop the content for critical thinking essay.
2. Follow the direction of assignment
3. Create topic sentences for each body paragraph.
4. Check grammar and punctuation.
5. Follow APA formatting and style
Thank you for sharing your paper with me. Good luck with your revision! Elsie R.

Find aIDitional resources in Smarthinking’s online library:
You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in Smarthinking’s student handbooks. You can visit the Smarthinking Writer’s Handbook or the Smarthinking ESOL (English for speakers of other languages) Writer’s Handbook.
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Please look for more comments in your essay below. Thank you for visiting Smarthinking. We encourage you to submit future essays.

Children and adolescents have social, psychological and physical needs that unlike adults need to be met in order to ensure a healthy and developmental growth. The level to which these needs are met by those around them including their family and other social influencers will affect their long term development. [You still need to develop a thesis statement so that the reader can have a roadmap of your essay. It will come at the end of your introductory paragraph.]
Some of the developmental concerns with childhood and adolescents include: Anxiety is common for many people, but when it is at the level which is disruptive to the lives and development of their lives then it is cause for concern. Anxiety can be categorized into social phobia, panic disorder which may range from a few minutes to longer, general anxiety disorder which has the child/adolescence develop feelings of fear and worry on most of the issues they face as they grow up. Another concern is Attention deficit disorder also known as ADHD. [Well done for using a transition as it indicates the relationship between the sentences.] It is a case of anti social behavior which will lead them to engage in erratic behavior that may lead them into trouble if not properly cared for will have their mental capacity impaired. They will also suffer from depression which affects at least 5% of children. While it is said to be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain having the child exposed to medication at an early age will not be the best form of therapy. Other forms of therapy such as neuro feedback will be effective in treating this disorder (Piaget, 1995).
Strengths and weakness in childhood development can be derived from the Jean Piaget Developmental theory.[Are you talking about one weakness? What word should you use to indicate the plural?] He’s ideas changed the way in which people viewed the understanding of children development. The development of children occurs in stages and this will be effective in engaging the children through effective teaching. It will be important for their caregivers to learn the stage the children/adolescents are to give the better educative material (Piaget, 1995).
The development theory has a weakness which its based for children and not for all the learners. It is only limited to a certain grouping and this theory is restricted only to children. The focus is on learning rather than the development of the children. It is based more on the process rather than the product in the learning process (Piaget, 1995). [To make your conclusion more powerful, include a recap of your major supporting points. This will reaffirm your main idea in your reader’s mind as he or she finishes reading your work]

Reference
Piaget, J. (1995). Sociological Studies. London: Routledge.
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